DOG Property laws

1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my mouth it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours
    in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces
    are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you
    put it down it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken , it's yours. 

Author Unknown

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that his dog had been dead for many years. He continued down the road wondering where it would lead them.

After awhile, they came to a high white stone wall. It looked like it was made of the finest marble that glowed in the sunlight. Standing before it, he saw a magnificent arched gate that looked like mother of pearl. And the street that led to the gate was made of pure gold. It was a beautiful sight to behold! He and his dog walked toward the gate. As he got closer, he saw a man seated at a large desk. Walking up to the desk the man asked, "Excuse me, but where are we?"
"This is heaven, sir" the man at the desk answered.
"Wow! Would you happen to have some water? It's been a long journey for us!" the man asked.
"Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up!" The man gestured as the pearly gates started to open.
"Can my friend come in too?" the traveler asked gesturing to his dog.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets here!"
The man thought a moment, and then turned back toward the road and continued walking the way he had been going.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road which led through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside leaning against a tree reading a book.
"Excuse me!" he called to the reader. "Do you have any water?"
"Yeah, sure, there's a pump right over there" The man pointed to a place that couldn't be seen from outside the gate. "Come on in."
"What about my friend here?" the traveler again gestured to the dog.
"Sure, bring him too, there should be a bowl by the pump for him too!"
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveler filled the bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to his dog. When they had drank their fill, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree waiting for them.
"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.
"This is heaven," was the answer.
"Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "the man down the road said that that was heaven, too!"
"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope, that's HELL."
"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"
"No, I can see how you might think so, but we're just happy that they screen out the folks who'll leave their best friends behind!"
Author Unknown



1) If you have to throw up, get into a chair QUICKLY! If you can't manage that in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, any good rug will do. (middle of the bed is good too) and also the car!
2) ALWAYS accompany guests to the bathroom. It's not necessary to do anything; just sit and stare. (and then always jump up and look in the bowl when they flush) .
3) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen, and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up, and consoled with food. (And to get twice the number of treats, demand one before you go out , and another when you come back in....2 treats for only a few drops of urine)
4) Once a door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you've ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and halfway out, and think about several things. It's particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow and mosquito season. (or CALIF. heat) 

                                OTHER THINGS TO REMEMBER

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it. 
I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food. 
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will
think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
All pictures and printed data in this website are the exclusive right of  Sharmin's Toy Poodles and may not be altered, copied, distributed or otherwise used without our written consent.

LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
  DOG BED: any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL: Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps.
SNIFF: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your nose as close as you can to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply, repeat several times, or until your person makes you stop.
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their persons want them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. 
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans
remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.
WASTEBASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrapper. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home
SOFAS: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
BATH: This is a process by which the humans drench the floor, walls and themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently. 
LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "sit!", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the Regular Bump doesn't get the attention you require, especially effective when combined with The Sniff. See above.
LOVE: Is a feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.
TRAINING TIPS FOR THE NEW PUPPY: The best advice I have ever given puppy owners is to get a newspaper and roll it up very tight. Secure it with a rubber band and leave it on the coffee table. Then, when the puppy piddles in the house, chews up a slipper or does anything he's not supposed to do , simply take the newspaper and bang it on the top of YOUR head very hard while repeating...
"I should have been watching my puppy!"
"I should have been watching my puppy!"
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